Children are innocent, and they learn what they see especially in their childhood. Parents are heroes for their children, their actions, behavior, and personality leaves the biggest impact on their children’s life.
When parents cheat on each other or they separate or break the marriage, it breaks the children’s heart.
Children come to us one hundred percent defenseless with a perfect soul. They are in our total and complete mercy. Every time you make a bad decision, you are leaving a hole in their hearts, and, no matter what you do, it will never be the same. If you decided to be unfaithful to your partner, you also decided to destroy your children’s lives.
Here are 7 ways you are hurting your kids, when you decide to be unfaithful:
1 They blame themselves
Children blame themselves for family separation, they feel alone because their parents don’t show love to them. They see their parents fighting and they continue to absorb the blame as they grow up.
2 They will become unfaithful adults
According to Ana Nogales, a clinical psychologist, “55 percent of children from families Where one or both parents were unfaithful are also unfaithful in their adulthood.”
You are their greatest example, and in their little minds, whatever you do is fine. Teaching someone that infidelity is an acceptable behavior through example is like teaching a 2-year-old to abuse substances like alcohol or drugs.
3 Fear of abandonment
Children realize that parent who was cheated on did nothing to deserve that abandonment and betrayal (because no one deserves that).
So, children of unfaithful parents grow up with a insecurity and develop a deep fear of abandonment. This significantly impacts their future. As an adult, these individuals tend to push away everyone who shows them, love, because they fear they will lose them anyway.
4 Facing the worst betrayal
It’s bad enough to get betrayed by a boyfriend, friend or even relatives, but none can be more hurtful than being betrayed by a parent. If you have betrayed your kids by cheating on your partner, what else could you do to fail them?
5 Trust issues
Seventy-five percent of children who have unfaithful parents usually have trust issues. This can affect their future relationships since trust is an important ingredient to make things work.
6 Disbelief in love
Eighty percent of these children do not believe in love when they reach adulthood. This means they develop destructive behaviors when it comes to love. They find it extremely difficult to believe they can have a loving family. A large percentage of them engage in short, casual relationships, panic over commitment and sabotage all relationships they have in fear of having their heart broken.
7 Feeling forced to choose sides
This happens in all divorces. Children feel they have to choose between one parent. What many parents fail to fully understand is that having both parents present in the relationship is extremely important for their children.
Not Being There For Their Children In The Most Important Moments Of Their Lives
Some things that don’t seem serious to us might be really important to our children and all people, especially children, need to have someone close to them at moments like these. Even if it seems like you have a good reason to miss your child’s birthday party, try not to. Because in the future, you will regret when you realize just how many important events you have missed.
Choose a time to decorate the Christmas tree, go to the theater, or visit your grandmother together. All these things are important. And when children grow up, you will miss these moments.
Following Someone Else’s Advice In Raising Their Own Children
There are some people who just love giving advice, and young mothers often listen to them even if the advice is inappropriate. These so-called experts will give a lot of information on how to dress, feed and educate your children better. But you are the parent and you know better than anyone else on what’s good for your child and what’s not. Of course, you can listen to some of the advice but it doesn’t mean you have to follow all of them.
One more thing, you shouldn’t let strangers tell your child off for being bad. You should always take your child’s side and make them feel like you support them no matter what. When they need support, they should always be able to count on you.
Not Taking Their Child’s Opinion Into Account
Maybe you have used phrases such as You’re too young to decide things,” or “Adults know better,” and you don’t take your child’s opinion seriously. But in these situations, offending your child is the worst thing to do. Children whose opinions are often neglected may grow up to be insecure. This makes perfect sense because how can you know what you want from life if there was always someone who made all the decisions for you?
Let your child choose and express their own opinion. It’s better to discuss their choices and explain things than to ignore and limit them.
Being Too Strict
It’s one thing to tell someone off for a bad thing they did and it’s completely different to start picking on every acions and decision they make. It’s a popular myth that the higher the expectations are, the more successful the person becomes. But in reality, you can actually get the complete opposite effect, behavioral problems, and even development issues. Lastly, of course, one of the consequences could be a negative relationship with your children.
Punishments for bad grades are also harmful, they can only decrease their overall success in school. Punish and reward your children only for the things that really matter. An “F” in one of the tests or a broken plate has never hurt anyone.
Not Taking Enough Photos And Videos
Nothing bad will happen if you don’t take photos. It won’t impact the child’s mental state, their moral qualities, or their physical health. But it is very likely that in the future, you will want to remember some of the most valuable moments of your life and share these emotions with your grown-up children. Many parents really regret not using a camera more when they should have.
You will never watch the recording of a fireworks show but you will definitely want to see the first steps your baby takes. And photo albums are still the best and the most reliable way to keep the important photos.
Not hugging Their Children Often Enough
Scientists have proven the importance of hugs for both physical and moral health. There are many benefits and advantages, but you will probably agree that it’s just nice to hug your own child. Sometimes, parents don’t do hugs for different reasons but most of those reasons are absurd and wrong.
Over time, the child will grow up and won’t let you hug them. So savor these moments while you still can.
Not Enjoying Their Communication With Their Child
A young child needs constant contact to grow into a relatively self-sufficient person. But the truth is, parents need this communication as well. Yes, there is less free time and it’s okay if a mother or father does something while their child is playing games. But if you turn this into a habit, one moment you might realize that your child has grown up already and is living their own life.
There is no way to bring back the time you lost, so try to be not only physically close to your child, but also mentally close with them. Enjoy the time you spend together.